Being Thankful for the F*cked Up Stuff

A few weeks ago, I read a touching Facebook post from a couple.

Ok, so I'm patting (my wife and I) on the back. We got home from vacation and had to deal with a flat tire in the airport parking lot. Then, when we get home, we realize our fridge died. TIRE FIXED, NEW FRIDGE DELIVERED. Big grocery shopping trip after nap. WE HAVE COME A LONNNNNNG WAY FROM BEING HOMELESS AND LIVING IN A TENT!!! (TEAMWORK makes the DREAMWORK)

They were thankful they had a car that could change a flat tire. They were thankful they had a home that could have a refrigerator die. They were thankful for the f*cked up stuff.

I just did a follow-up podcast with Lori Ann. She told me the story of how she was hooked on heroin and thought she was hiding it. Until she got a letter from her kids, letting her know they knew what was up. She knew she had to change, and did. (You gotta hear both podcasts with Lori Ann, Episodes 21 and 64! www.thehilarioushypnotist.com

I remember when one of my hypnosis mentors said, “What if getting Hashimoto’s was the best thing that ever happened to me?” What if this was exactly what I needed to stop eating the foods that were hurting my body? It’s been a hard-fought journey, but it’s been so worth it.

Much in the same way that adversaries can be your best teachers, it’s the same way that the f*cked up stuff that we all experience is where the real growth happens.

Let’s be real: It’s easy to be thankful when life is going great.

You’ve got money in the bank, people are being nice to you, your jeans fit, the sun is shining—of course, you’re grateful. That’s not exactly a spiritual achievement. That’s just… Tuesday is going well.

But what about the times when life sucker-punches you in the gut?

What about when things fall apart?
When you get rejected, dumped, fired, ghosted, betrayed, or left standing there like, “Wait… what just happened?”

I know I was “not thankful” going through a divorce, while taking care of my mother with myasthenia gravis, diabetes, and dementia. I know I was “not grateful” for the friends that I lost or the heartbreaks I endured.

Because here’s the thing nobody loves to admit:

Some of the worst stuff you go through ends up being the best thing that could’ve happened to you.
Not because it felt good. Not because it was fair. But because it woke you the hell up.

The Wake-Up Call You Didn’t Ask For

Everyone has at least one “WTF” moment in life that completely shifts them.

That breakup that made you finally work on your self-worth.

That job you lost that pushed you into something you actually cared about.

That illness or burnout that made you stop saying yes to everything.

You don’t need a gratitude journal when things are great.
You need it when life hands you shit sandwich after shit sandwich, and expects you to eat them.

And yeah, sometimes you do learn.
You realize what you’ve been tolerating.
You see how you’ve been abandoning yourself to keep the peace.
You find out what you’re actually capable of when sh*t hits the fan.

Kintsugi: Making Broken Look Damn Good

There’s this Japanese art called Kintsugi. When pottery breaks, they don’t glue it back and try to hide the damage.
Nope—they repair it with gold.

They literally fill the cracks with gold so the broken parts are visible, honored, and even more beautiful than before.

Not just fixed—upgraded.

Now, imagine applying that same thinking to your own life.

Instead of hiding the stuff you’ve been through or pretending it didn’t affect you, what if you owned it? What if the things that broke you… Also, build the best parts of you? What if you became beautiful and strong in the broken places?

Gratitude Doesn’t Mean You Liked It

Let’s be clear: being thankful for something doesn’t mean you wanted it, liked it, or would sign up for it again.

It just means you got something out of it.

Maybe it made you stronger, more self-aware, more grounded.
Maybe it gave you the push you needed to change.
Maybe it burned down something you were too afraid to walk away from.

You don’t have to write a thank-you note to your ex or send flowers to your old boss who fired you.
But you can say, “Alright. That sucked. But I’m better now because of it.”

That’s gratitude with boundaries. That’s grown-ass gratitude.

The Wrap-Up

Look, I’m not saying you have to be all sunshine and sparkles about your trauma or your failures.

But if you can find even one reason to be thankful for what didn’t work out—what fell apart, what disappointed you, what didn’t go your way—you take your power back.

You stop being a victim of your story.
You become the editor. The gold-seam filler. The person who says:

“Yeah, life broke me in a few places. But I patched myself up, learned some things, and here I am—more solid than ever.”

And that? That’s something to be seriously thankful for.