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  • Writer's picturecocoy montenegro

What Do You Really Want?  Start by Changing What You Think

Welcome to the first blog of the month of March - and this month we’ll be focusing on Manifesting!

Does manifesting really work? YES! We manifest all the time, because what we think about is what we attract and what we attract is what we become. When we think about great things happening to us, great things happen. When we think about bad things happening to us, bad things happen.

I realized the power of manifesting when I was single and dating. I wanted to be in a relationship very badly. I missed having companionship very much. I could always get dates but I couldn’t seem to keep them around for more than a month or two. I began realizing that my unconscious programming was getting in the way.

I wrote down my beliefs about dating, the things I thought the the words about dating that stuck with me. Here's a few of them:

“All the good ones are taken.”

“Guys don’t like over-weight girls like me.”

“I’m just too weird and not girly enough for most guys.”

“He’s divorced. If he’s so awesome, why did someone throw him away?”

Well no wonder I wasn’t getting anywhere with dating! I began examining these beliefs one by one.

“All the good ones are taken,” actually implies that if I meet someone who is single, they must not be that “good.” It also implies that I may not be good, because I’m not taken. If I keep consciously or unconsciously repeating to myself “All the good ones are taken,” then I am consciously and unconsciously setting myself up to fail, as anyone who is single is probably not good which includes me! If I choose to keep this belief, then it is very possible I am consciously and/or unconsciously keeping myself single.

What if there was a better way to think about single people, instead of “All the good ones are taken?” What if I changed my thought to “There are many wonderful single people out there. I just haven’t found the perfect one for me, YET.” That statement creates a whole different belief system, a whole different mind set. That consciously and unconsciously implies there are many wonderful single people out there, and that I will find someone. I just need to keep looking! It also implies that I may be one of the wonderful singles out there too. Changing this belief was the start of creating openness within myself that I could find someone amazing.

Did you notice that one belief is a negative manifestation, the other is positive manifestation? Which one do you think will yield the best results? Well, that depends on your goal. If you wish to stay single, then “All the good ones are taken” will do. If you wish to find a partner, then you might do better changing the belief to “there are many wonderful single people out there, I just haven’t found the perfect one for me YET.”

When I began examining each of my statements, I realized the truths I accepted blindly may not be as true as I thought. “Guys don’t like over-weight girls like me.” There are plenty of guys out there that like girls with curves.” As soon as I changed that belief, guys who loved girls with curves began showing up!

“I’m just too weird and not girly enough for most guys.” I still believe that I’m too weird and not girly enough, but there are plenty of guys that want a girl who is “lower maintenance” and not spending her whole life in a mirror. Changing that belief allowed me to find guys who liked girls like me.

“He’s divorced. If he’s so awesome, why did something throw him away?” I got this belief from my mother. She said this about my first husband, who was divorced when I married the first time. This one belief gave me trouble for years…until I realized every relationship takes 2 people to make a relationship work. I never got his ex-wife’s side of the story, but I finally changed that belief to “We all make mistakes, and that is part of life. It’s okay to be married more than once.” “How many marriages are miserable, but the partner clings to the wrong partner just so they can brag about how long they stayed together?” No thank you! Sometimes the person you needed 5 years ago is not the person you need 5 years later. Not all couples grow together. It's okay to change.

Changing the thoughts you have is a quick way to change what you manifest. But the only way to change what you think, is to be aware of how you think. What are the things you say to yourself that are helpful? What are the things you say that are getting in the way of you living your best life? What are the truths you just accepted about yourself without every questioning them? Once you write them down, then you can begin to change what you think about and manifest better things in your life.

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