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  • Writer's picturecocoy montenegro

Living An Authentic Life

My first “exposure” to a nudist community was in January 2009 when I was hired to do a comedy show at a clothing-optional resort. I had no idea how that one show would change my life. That one show sent me down a road that would allow me to develop a comedy show that would eventually introduce me to some of the coolest people on the planet and send me to perform comedy worldwide. However, in the early days of my comedy career, I had to keep my shows at nudist resorts and swinger events on the down low. My husband, at the time, worked for a publicly traded company and had to sign a “morality” clause. I created an entirely different persona for my nudist/swinging shows. I even maintained an additional website to keep the facade going. I did this for years, and keeping the facade going was tough.

When I’d visit clothing-optional resorts, I’d meet people who couldn’t live their authentic lives either. I met a couple at a resort in Cancun that said they owned a cattle ranch. A day later, I met another couple that owned a cattle ranch. What a coincidence, right? I decided to introduce these two couples to each other when the first cattle ranch couple mysteriously disappeared. They approached me a few days later and admitted they were vacationing undercover cops. They hated telling people they were undercover cops because people would ask questions about how their brother could beat a DUI or what their sister should do about her husband beating her. They had both worked on a sting operation at a cattle ranch, so they had some good insight into the business and figured no one else would know enough about cattle ranching…until I came along and nearly blew their cover They only told me the truth because I had been so nice and friendly with them.

When I split with my husband, I thought maybe then I could be open about my “other” show, but choose to remain quiet. My mother was in and out of the hospital, and I didn’t need to give her more to worry about in her lucid moments as she fought dementia. When I was booked to perform on my 10th swinger cruise, my mother kept asking me why I was going on so many cruises. I finally told her it was for work, and I was performing on a swinger cruise. She would forget the following week, so I’d have to tell her again. I had to confess my secret life to your mother, with dementia, eighteen times. I was thankful she kept forgetting. Whenever she asked me where I was going, I’d answer, “I’m performing on a swinger cruise, Mom.” She’d say, “Oh…that’s right. I remember now.” And then she wouldn’t. One of the nurses overheard me tell my mother about the swinger cruise, and she wanted stories. I told her if my mother was alive when I got back, I’d tell her everything. My mother reported that she got fabulous care while I was gone. I’d have lunch with the nurses later that week and share my stories. Somehow, it worked out.

While trying to keep my alter-comedy ego a secret, I’d bump into a few people that knew me before I was a comedian at swing clubs or nudist resorts. Most times, it was a “nudge nudge wink wink” moment, and we’d both go on our separate ways. After all, they were there too! A few times, I was inadvertently “outed” by someone already “out.” I’d have to do damage control and clean up my Facebook page.

When my mother passed, I decided to live an authentic life. I eventually admitted to my remaining family members that I was one of the top entertainers for the swinging lifestyle. They had been watching my Facebook page for years and thought I was off doing something different. After all, I was the black sheep grandchild of the black sheep daughter, but now it was safe to ask questions. Most didn’t. They just accepted me for who I was, and that was that!

Now, I no longer have to hide what I do, justify where I live, or make excuses for my quirky but lovable social circle. When I meet strangers who ask what I do, I tell them I’m a hypnotist specializing in erotic hypnotherapy and breaking bad trances with laughter, and I own an Airbnb business in the nudist resort where I live. In one sentence, I immediately gave them the tools they needed to love or hate me. I am comfortable with either option they choose. They usually hear “hypnosis” or “nudist resort” and have a curiosity question about one or the other. I answer honestly, and they admit they’ve never known a hypnotist or someone living in a nudist resort. Now we have a conversation going, and I get to learn something about them.

We attract who we portray ourselves to be. Because I’m open with who and what I am, I attract people with the same values. People who are dishonest about their lifestyle choices tend to attract others who are dishonest about their choices or, worse yet, attract people who like them for the person they portray themselves as.

Be yourself; be who you were meant to be. The rest of the world will adjust.

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