So, this might be one of those blog posts for myself again. While I think I do an amazing job for my clients with hypnosis, every now and then I come across a personal situation that throws my unconscious mind into a downward spiral. I tell my clients, “There’s a reason why brain surgeons don’t operate on themselves. There’s a reason why dentists don’t do their own root canals. Neither one has enough perspective on the issue.” I needed a little help on this one!
New Year’s Eve, Committed Boyfriend Doug popped “THE” question. He’d been planning this amazing marriage proposal for three months, and when it came time, everything fell apart. Along with a beautiful fireworks display, the words “Traci will you marry me? CBD” were supposed to light up in fire on the beach, 24 floors below where I was standing on the patio of a penthouse condo. Thanks to high winds, thick fog, and dead LED batteries…all I could see were the words “Merry Christmas CDC.” I knew there was no way in Hell our staunch conservative friend who was shooting off the fireworks would ever wish Dr. Fauci and the Center for Disease Control a “Merry Christmas,” much less on New Year’s Eve! Doug spent the longest 63 seconds ever trying to unwrap the finest quality, blue raspberry ring pop from the Wawa on St Rt 54 as my engagement ring, and only then did I figure out that he was asking me to marry him. Pro tip: should you ever be so lucky to have this happen to you, be mindful of the congratulations and hugs. Ring pops engagements in Florida can be quite sticky.
Anyhow, the next day, “reality” set it. We are in the midst of 4 major projects right now with 3 more right behind those, and we just piled planning our wedding on top of it. I woke up the next night sweating, my heart pounding, and my mind racing. Overwhelm and panic were taking over. My unconscious mind began compounding all 7 projects and a wedding, and running through multiple scenarios in order to protect me from “failure,” aka “pain.” I felt as if everything was happening right then, even though it was really 4 in the morning, and nothing was happening at all.
I had to remind myself we had a plan of action for each of the other projects, and Doug and I needed a plan of action for the wedding too. My unconscious mind decided the time frame for getting married after getting engaged was one year. Where did this come from? I’m not sure, that’s just how I did it back in 1996 and 1997, and I had no reason to change any of those beliefs since I was never in a situation where I had to plan another wedding. Unfortunately, my unconscious mind still didn’t know what the issue was, only that I should stay awake at worry about it. Doug sensed something was wrong, and approached me. I explained to him the situation, and he reassured me we could extend our engagement until after the other projects are completed. Wait, what? It’s really that simple? Just don’t get married in a year? Well okay then! Problem solved.
After I thought about it, we’ve broken several societal relationship norms already. He moved in with me after we’d been dating 3 months. We’ve been living together 3+ years. We moved into a nudist resort. He proposed marriage with a blue raspberry ring pop. It’s perfectly okay we don’t get married right away. And in case you’re wondering why he proposed with a “ring pop,” Doug wanted this to be a surprise (and was it ever!), he didn’t want to spend a lot of money on an engagement ring and then it not be what I wanted. I’ll select an engagement ring in the next few weeks.
Thank you, Unconscious Mind, for trying to protect me. I got this.