The next blog in April, our month of Foolishness and Forgiveness, is about doing the WRITE thing. That’s right…errr…write!
Doing the WRITE thing is about writing a letter. It’s a letter where you dig deep into your soul, get in touch with your feelings, and pour your heart out into a letter. There are two kinds of letters you can write, and I recommend you write at least one of each.
The first letter is written to a “special someone” who hurt you. They can be living or deceased. Write them and tell that “special someone” how badly they hurt you, how they did you wrong, how they treated you like shit, and/or how they made you feel less than others. List what they did to you. Describe in detail how it made you feel. Tell them what you’d like to see happen to them in return for being such a horrible person. If tears aren’t flowing, you’re probably not digging deep enough. These are the general rules for writing this letter: Let the expletives fly! Do not censor yourself. Do not edit your thoughts. Don’t worry about making sense, or the chronological order of events. Set a timer for 15 minutes, and write (or type). What matters, is getting in touch with your true feelings and scrubbing your soul clean. It’s about getting all that shit you’ve been holding in for years off your chest.
Once you’re done writing your letter, fold it up, and put it away for at least 24 hours. Do not mail your letter to the person. This letter is for your benefit only. After 24 hours, re-read the letter, and make any revisions you’d like to make. When you are convinced your letter expresses everything it needs to, destroy it. Tear it up, bury it, or burn it (safely!). Take a deep breath in, and let it go.
The second letter is written to a “special, someone” who was an inspiration or influenced you. Tell that “special someone” how much they meant to you, how awesome it was to have them in your life, how special they made you feel, and how they made you feel amazing when you needed it most. List what they did to you. Describe in detail how it made you feel. Tell them what you’ve become as a result of them being in your life. Again, if tears aren’t flowing, you’re probably not digging deep enough. Allow the praises to fly! Do not censor yourself. Do not edit your thoughts. Don’t worry about making sense, or the chronological order of events. Set a timer for 15-30 minutes, and write (or type). What matters, is reflecting upon the positive influence this person had on you. It’s about remembering all the good people in your life and what they did to make you a better person.
Once you’re done writing your letter, fold it up and put it away for at least 24 hours. Make any revisions you’d like to make, and when you believe it says everything it needs to say, feel free to mail it to the person. If the person is deceased, light a candle in their honor, and read the letter out loud.
Why do the WRITE thing? Because your unconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between “the letter” and an in-person conversation. You’re taking your unconscious mind on a ride. You’re giving it time to process memories of the past and free up some space on the hard drive that is your brain. With the first letter, you’re letting deep-rooted stuff go, without putting yourself in danger or giving the other person the satisfaction of knowing what they did to you. With the second letter, you’re spending time going back to positive memories, and you’re giving the other person (should you choose to send the letter) the chance to experience those positive memories with you all over again.
Sometimes, the person that hurt you the most can be the same person that helped you be your best. Sometimes, the person that hurt you the most is yourself. Be brave if you accept this challenge as part of your healing journey, and push through any pain and awkwardness you experience, as your healing is just on the other side. Remember, if you don’t willingly let go of your anchors, it will be that much harder to “rise above.”